Life is better when we have great friends to share it with

Making new friends wasn’t always easy; especially with my lifestyle and let’s face it! Whether it’s your first day at school or college or even if you have moved to a new city, making true friends can be quite intimidating for some. But that most certainly does not mean you hide behind the shadows of isolation or loneliness. Having a human connection is a fundamental need for all.

After all, we are all born as social species that thrive best when amongst the company of like minded people who care. For some, learning how to make friends is like the jovial dance of belonging. While others may describe it as the epic journey of finding the connection and love that comes with having those around you who truly care. They are the ones who share all our ups and downs, pain and joy. To be honest, without them life just wouldn’t be the same.

Your Surrounding Matters!

Unsure about where you stand in all this? Take a look at your surroundings. They are a clear indication of how you feel. Studies indicate that friendships tend to have a huge impact on your mental well-being. Having a network of good friends tend to help in providing joy and relieving stress, the happiness they bring along with them may even lead to adding significant years to your life. However developing close friendships and bonds don’t just happen overnight; it needs a bit of effort on your part (just like about anything else). So if you are not sure or are struggling to learn the art of how to make friends, then here are five essential pointers that really helped me out.

Conquer the fears in your mind

The first step towards making friends begins with understanding yourself and your fears. For many of us just the mere thought of meeting new people and making a good impression on them can sometimes be so overwhelming that it takes us into a state of mental fear and apprehension. As a result, we unknowingly end up blocking ourselves to even give it a try.

So, how does one conquer their fears? It’s easy: face them head-on. That sounds pretty scary, but that is the nature of a fear. One of the best ways to conquer your fears by facing them is to first gain as much knowledge as you can. Once you take on a fear and successfully come out unscathed on the other side, you will begin to feel more confident in your abilities to succeed in making friends.

Truth be told, any long lasting relationship (including friendship) is built on stronger values as opposed to the words you use or the things you do. At the end of day, if you come across people who simply judge you on what you say or do then chances are that they are probably not worth wasting your time and energy.

Make the first move

When was the last time you spoke to your friends from school or planned to get a cup of coffee with your colleagues? We all live in a fast paced world where we get so consumed with chasing dreams or making ends meet that it’s only natural to lose contact with old acquaintances. But just like any other relationship, friendship also needs nurturing. Take some time out to call or text an old school friend or consider the possibility of meeting like-minded colleagues after work. You’d be surprised how easy it gets once to break the ice and make the first move.

Move out of your comfort zone

A major step in learning how to make friends, involves stepping outside your comfort zone. This could mean looking into any cliques that can join, accepting invitations; even if it’s from a friend’s friend or even joining a group that shares similar interests as yours. Remember! You can’t expect to make any real friends if you simply choose to just sit at home. So step out of your comfort zone; try to go out more often even if it is just to visit the local museum, an art gallery, a workshop or even just to volunteer. And while you’re at it try hitting two birds with one stone. Instead of just enjoying the experience and learning something new, focus on making conversations, participate constructively and soon when you come across people with whom you have more in common you will eventually start to get to know them better.

Focus on Building Something Real

It won’t matter how many friends you make or how big your professional network is if you do not build your foundation on something that is honest and real. Lying or misrepresenting yourself to make friends or build your network is never cool, and on top of that it will cause you more problems than you might believe. What’s more, if you do not focus on something that is authentic then there will come a time when it all falls apart. That failure is exactly what most people are afraid of, so do yourself a favor and keep it real when learning the art of making friends.

So how do you know if your friendship is built upon real and honest things? All you have to do to find out is ask yourself a few simple questions regarding whatever you’re wondering about:

· Does it stand the test of time?

· Will it be relevant to me, my network, or the world tomorrow?

· How many people agree or disagree with my point-of-view?

· Am I making or breaking relationships?

Depending on how you answer those questions, you will be able to determine whether or not you are surrounding yourself with friends who are real and will stick by you no matter what the odds are.

Remember! No matter what your age, gender or circumstances are, it’s never too late to learn how to make friends or reconnect with old ones. All you have to do is steer clear of unreasonable fears that may sabotage or hinder your efforts and start focusing more on improving your social and emotional well being.

Life coaching is a great alternative for those of you who feel socially awkward and have difficulty making friends. A life coach can serve as an emotional support to get you through each week and offer you some healthy tips on how to break out and make new friends.